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Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Read a super intesting article about diversity 2day and i thought of blogging it down. But after some serious thoughts about the recent 2guys who were charged with "virtual" racist remarks, i decided to give it a pass. HEY!! who knows i might be the next one sitting behind bars after i finished typing it down??
Aiyah!! heck it lah.. think i just tone down abit hor?? So much so for embracing diversity when we are restricted from making free speeches about our views. True enough, it will propagate a more orderly and obedient society but isn't it like avoiding the sensitive topic and covering it up?? THats so unconstructive learning according to HRM2002 ----> think i shld also @ a disclaimer here to save my ass...
Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any provocating thoughts after any "tresspassers" read this article. No specific social group is targeted and all words are pure thoughts from the author. (hmm... how this will keep be away from bars??)

HAHA enuff of the HRM shitting.. now something more personal. Been feeling super off-tracked nowadays. SO BIZ until i dun noe what to do... so many fall outs!! so many chances but i lost them.. let them slip out of my hands!!! n so many un-given chances!!
Basically all this means i am super suai these few days... n i think i have not reach the bottom yet.. so all u guys n gers out there... RUN IF U C ME!! cause my suai-ness is contagious!!!

*ok.. just now was the subtle part.. now comes the serious part*

I cant belive how unlucky one can get when his luck is going downslope... IS ENGIN CANTEEN FOOD REALLY THAT NICE!! get the hell out of our canteen lah!!!!! uptown pple dun belong here!! Haiz.. actually i can blame no one..... things always happen on the adversity... when u want things to turn out this way, they will turn out for the worst. ( think a more familar phrase will be MURPHY'S LAW)... nmind... 1 more sem n ur GONE!!........
Gone but still THERE -.-"


ps... lets hope that miracles do exist....
CANTtakeIT;1:12 AM

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Cannot resist the temptation to blog after reading thru all my friend's blog. Seems like a lot of friends have been going thru a rough patch recently. Hmmm... maybe this period is greatly magnified by the Katrina catastrophe?? cause i have been super hetic that i have lost touch with my feelings...
hmmm.. bread and sch work b4 emotions?? maybe... but the irony of this is that i still have to squeeze time out of all this shit to do social errands... argghhh shldn't touch on all the JAMX stuff... think it will bored me to death.
Yah btw sis is back.. back from Japan for a week.. Suprised that the japanese culture has managed to change her into a domestic MARIA now.. helping out to pack this and do.. do all the house work.. n the sinful thing is that i feel that my pace life have been disturbed by her return. Trying to give the room back to her while i need it more.. trying to make her fit in n feel warmth. All the fake hospitality that does not seem to help bridge the gap.. what a bad brother i am...
opppsss... think i shld go do more constructive stuff liaoz
till next time!!
CANTtakeIT;10:23 PM

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Today I was faced with a tough choice again.. But before that, I had the most boring life again in school. Late for lecture, notes dun match the things that the lecturer is talking about and 2 boring tutorials after the lecture. After that have to rush down for tuition.. YESH!! tuition.. erm.. but this time I am the tutor instead of the tutee..
Spoilt brat from China!! Living in a big condo in Queens Condo....well to do family...have a cute lovely dog.... a maid that waits on him.... n the worst thing is.. he never do the homework i gave him!!
"Oh.. i feel asleep just now while looking at the questions"
What the !!!! Feel like wacking him up on the spot..... know that i am giving him tuition then he still give me the sleepy sleepy just wake up look.. actually he just woke up lor!! Nmind.. then excceed my 1.5hour. Took me about 2hr... NO OT claims ley!!!
Then after that came a phone call. I had to made a tough choice. YESH!! i hate to make choices.. B asked me if i am still working for Cali.. Tempted by the $$ i agreed and she asked for my slots that i wanna take.
I AM TAKING 7MODS THIS SEM!! WITH THIS STOOPID DESIGN MODULE DLINE THAT IS PILING ON ME!! TUTORING THIS RASCAL!! DO U THINK I STILL HAVE TIME!!
But i still feel like working so that she will not kick me out of her contacts for dragger.. hmm.. maybe 4times a month so that she will still rem my name?? But i guess that will means i have to forgo a lot of other commitments. Have to squeeze more time for studying and LESS SOCIAL LIFE!! ARGGGHHH!!! help!!!
I finally figured that i can still work on SAt... at most dun go out lor.. or go out after work ( though i will be super shag le).... or work the whole week during my mid-term break??
"Erm... Can i call u back later??"
"OK!"
I din call back.... still pondering over my decision.. SHLD I or SHLD I NOT?? Dun like making bad choices that will make my life more miserable cause its miserable enough. -.-"
CANTtakeIT;11:25 PM


A lot of things have been happening for the past week. A lot of impromptu things that turned my life from heaven to hell...Haha Ok lah... not so extreme till such a stage. But guess it really did affect me or at least the people around me..
Human beings are becoming more n more complex. DO we value other's feelings anymore?? Or are we turning into selfish beings. Recently some one told me about a story n YES i do agree that human emotions change... THEY DO CHANGE!! its only a matter of when and how... Come to think of it, I used to mock at people who are stuborn and obstinate but now i think i shld laugh at the irony of things. To change or NOT TO?? I will take the former... but only to "change for the better". Not to take sides, I agree that i Change too!! But its this change that i adopt while trying to cling onto the original self.. not very successful though... Good things r meant to kept while bad things thrown.
Made an interesting observation from the plight of those around me. Only those that are sufferring will "feel" for those around them. Take an analogy for instance.. A begger will understand the thoughts of a fellow begger, the pain and the experience.. BUT if that begger becomes rich one day, he will no longer care how his fellow beggers feel. Maybe he will even find them a pest, dirty and stinko! Similarly, a pretty person would neber bother to know how a ugly person feels.. Y BOTHER!! Right?? Its none of my CONCERN!! Its prettty sad to know that the r/p around is build on such a basis... so what happens when they leave your encirclement? or if you leave theirs?? Time to say BYE BYE??

"The scythe is inching on my throat.. ready to slit anytime.. Just waiting... waiting for the perfect moment... So helpless laying under the wrath of IT... Praying that light will shine once again to relinquish this grip.. to change hell to heaven.."

Its a bad choice to confront Truth...but being a BitchY person with a dying curiosity and an unfuillable thirst for answers... i did... lest start praying now k?? that light will shine once again...

:) Its a jumble of influx thoughts and rubbish that i just wanna blog b4 they are all gone..
CANTtakeIT;12:05 AM

'andI;


Name CCK
BDAE 24 Nov 1982
Email
cazlex@yahoo.com
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MSN
taz_alex@hotmail.com


'CAN'T;

DISCLAMER : THIS BLOG IS A ColleCTION of THOTS... Owner Does not hold any responsiblity for ANy ANIMALS/BEAST/pigs/or whateva that were hurt in the process...

'TAKE;



"Because of you"

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I have learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole
to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night
in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play
on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to
let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life
because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you



'IT;

-MY HISTORY-

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

December 2006

May 2007

June 2007

February 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

November 2008

April 2009

'anyMORE;

-Don-

-RG-

-Ah Gu-

-Weishan-

-YingYi-

-WenJie-

-yUn-

-Wong-

-Luke-

-aMANda-

-PAH06!!-

-Lionel-

-JiaXin-

-Mel-



'SHOOT;


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