MY BLOG!!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Today i finally found time to do some of these "time wasting" things such as blogging and reading other people's blog. Even though so, I admit that i feel guilty for peeping at "ITs" blog and even more shitty to be affected by what is written. WTH... there is nothing more for u man!! Just snap out of it!!
I am finally liberated from my EG1415 n my HR2002... Phew! less the PPT and the final paper.. now the headache is ME3101
Guess no one ever knew how i felt... doing this project is not only academically stressful. I have to learn so many EE things (that i have freaking no knowledge on) on my own! Worst of all, its so chim n my NUS supervisor is not helping as all!! Time to show yourself fairy godmother!!
But thats not the most disturbing thing. The most troubling thing is... MY BRO IS INVOLVED IN THIS!! He is the supervisor from the company!! All of them think that i can ask my bro for help.. BUT does anyone of your know that i DUN ASK HIM for help?? Its like an unannouced challenge btw him n me.. I have MY ego!! I dun have to depend on him! I dun wanna live in his shadows!! Its tough i know... but i know i have to try. No i am not saying that our r/p is very bad but at least i dun wanna pull strings or depend on him. In fact our r/p is much better nowadays compared to when we were young. To implicate things, that stoopid GL thinks bro is helping me alot so he keep giving ambugious answers or those bo chup seh...NB i really feel like wacking him... anyone wanna join in?? ^_^
*Since i am in the zone le... might as well continue bitching right??*

To a friend: Do u know that everytime u tell me about your stuff, IT HURTS? U know that i have not gotten over my story.. so y are involving me in another story? Its like a kinda Deja vu feeling. "WHAT SHLD I DO?? HOW COME THINGS TURN OUT THIS WAY?? TELL ME WHY??"
Its not that i dun wanna help u or listen to you but I am still trying to bury this shit ass thing as deep as i can....so plz dun blame me for the shitty answers or the guai lan answers....
FUCK.... i think this entry will raise alot of comotion again... sometimes it just hurt to listen to the truth... TRUST ME...i really know...i really empathize..

Found this video clip... its so idea.. but i dun noe if it works on my BLog.. anyway, enjoy!!
PS: it takes some time to load.. be patient.. good things are worth the wait.. n i gurantee that its good~ ^_^

CANTtakeIT;10:52 PM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Hk's disney land is up le!! Haiz.. i just came back from HK last year. YES!! that was b4 the disney land was up and now that stoopid KW keep asking me to go HK. How to?? I am neither an ASK nor a Hongkie!! Think the only comforting excuse i can use is that the place is being flooded by tons of PRC now. So its only wise to go at a later date so meanwhile we just enjoy the pictures eh?

Its a super cool website with the pictures. Isn't the place just beautiful?? Damn!! i really feel like going there now...

CLick HERE DISNEY!!

here is one more ------>DISNEY!!

CANTtakeIT;7:48 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I think I am really getting more and more psychotic like what W say. I simply like the thrill of my projects piling on me. Love the adrenalin rush flowing to my brains of being a procrastinator. Love the throbbing heartache I get while trying to stay awake to finish my stuff. Love battling with my neuro-senses to keep my eye lids open. Love the thought of sleeping at 3 and wake up at 8. Haha I am turning into a SM freak!!

W got “axed” today by Emirates. Shattered are his ego, his dreams, his pride and most of all I think he lost his certificate of proof. His proof that he is leading a much better life now (that’s what I think lah -.-?). But look on the bright side, HE will definitely return something back to you one lah…. That’s the equal xchange law….. rem??

Oh.. b4 I end this, wind surfing this 23rd or 29 and 30th this month!! any takers??

CANTtakeIT;2:46 AM

Friday, October 07, 2005

-Let my thoughts flow i shall-

Off the lights in my room,
Lit up the candle on my desk,

Too much emotions have entered my mind recently, clouding my thinking. Things never seem to fall in place when i have this kinda feelings. Run away i would always tell them but they never did. Hiding them was the only remedy for me. I think its time i stop being so rational and start becoming more affective? Perhaps i wun be so effective but i would be happier i guess. Letting my heart take the lead for once instead of my mind. Strangely those things that keep bugging me are not my feelings but other people's thoughts. Many things have happened recently. Many people have found a new lease of life while others have lost their orientation for now. Felt happy yet sad for W cause he is going thru a rough patch now. Reminisce of my past while looking at him. Nmind its all the past...

To a friend: Dun keep thinging about how things are now but take a probe into y things have become so...

Starting to feel that my life revolves around those around me. This bring me back to the basic question. Then where really is my life, where can i find it? Or who can i be able to find it in. It seems like the more i probe into this sort of questions, the more i dun understand myself. But i did realize that my life is getting rather boring at this stage. Prob because i am at the stage of upgrading myself... my thirst for knowledge is incredibly growing! SHiok!!

CANTtakeIT;7:18 AM

'andI;

Name CCK
BDAE 24 Nov 1982
Email
cazlex@yahoo.com
Friendster
cazlex@yahoo.com
MSN
taz_alex@hotmail.com

'CAN'T;

DISCLAMER : THIS BLOG IS A ColleCTION of THOTS... Owner Does not hold any responsiblity for ANy ANIMALS/BEAST/pigs/or whateva that were hurt in the process...

'TAKE;

"Because of you"

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I have learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole
to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night
in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play
on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to
let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life
because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

'IT;

-MY HISTORY-

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005